Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Open Prompt Revisions


1990. Choose a novel or play that depicts a conflict between a parent (or a parental figure) and a son or daughter. Write an essay in which you analyze the sources of the conflict and explain how the conflict contributes to the meaning of the work. Avoid plot summary
It is not uncommon for teenagers and their parents to get into arguments frequently. Teenagers believe that they are right and have a lot of knowledge that their parents do not. That role is reversed in Death of a Salesman. Willy, the father of Biff, thinks that he has Biff's life planned out and knows what Biff desires. The source of conflict in Death of a Salesman is Willy's deteriorating life and health as well as his personality. 
Willy was an successful businessman in his prime, but that is because of actions many would consider to be immoral. Willy would have affairs with the secretaries and give them stockings for his business. When Willy began to get older, his business goes down hill. As result, his already fragile relationship with his sons takes a turn for the worse. There are a lot of similarities between Willy and Biff in Death of a Salesman. He and Linda ignore their other son. Willy tries to "relive the glory days" through his son. He attempts to get him to become a businessman and follow in his own footsteps. Biff, however, has already decided the path and it is quite different than what Willy imagined. The source for the relationship problems with Willy and his son, Biff, are that Willy's life and business are degrading and he tries to live his life through Biff. 
The struggle between Willy and Biff is the source of the main idea and meaning of this book. Death of Salesmen is about the struggle to find who you are and going against the grain. During this time period, after World War II, was the age of conformity. Everyone was buying, driving, wearing, saying, doing etc... the same thing. Biff goes against the mold and walks down a different path than his father. Willy and Happy represent the American Dream and conformity, while Biff represents the free west and being an individual.



1995. Writers often highlight the values of a culture or a society by using characters who are alienated from that culture or society because of gender, race, class, or creed. Choose a novel or a play in which such a character plays a significant role and show how that character's alienation reveals the surrounding society's assumptions or moral values.

            The “American dream” is often criticized by people across the globe. Many argue that the American dream is fake because people get caught up in satisfaction and what they want. In the play “The American Dream” by Albee, Ablee highlights the flaws of the American dream by portraying a typical American couple while also showing another character, Grandma, as a sane human. This contrast and alienation of Grandma reveals Mommy and Daddy’s flaws and the overall flaws of the American Dream.
            Mommy and Daddy represent the American family who is trying to achieve the American Dream. All they want is satisfaction from each other and other people. As a result they are naive to many things and lack traits. Daddy succumbs to Mommy’s command and does not have a voice for himself. He often repeats what Mommy says just to reinforce it. Daddy also often forgets things told to him seconds before. This strange habit of Daddy shows the audience and reader that he only hears what he wants to hear and ignores others and has a auto response.
            Much like Daddy, Mommy is focused on herself and what others think of her. At the beginning of the play she returns the hat just to buy the same hat so people are satisfied. Mommy also controls Daddy and is the dominate one in the relationship.
            Grandma is the only voice of reason. It is through Grandma that we fully understand how insecure Mommy and Daddy are. This is clearly show at the end of the play when Grandma breaks the forth wall and tells the audience the play is over. Grandma ends the play because everyone has what they think they want. This is significant because Grandma is telling us that Mommy and Daddy think they are satisfied with the Young Man, while Grandma knows that the only reason they are satisfied is because he is empty on the inside but looks stunning on the outside.  Because Mommy and Daddy represent the American couple, Grandma is indirectly saying that the American dream is peoples desire to look good and be accepted.



1973. An effective literary work does not merely stop or cease; it concludes. In the view of some critics, a work that does not provide the pleasure of significant closure has terminated with an artistic fault. A satisfactory ending is not, however, always conclusive in every sense; significant closure may require the reader to abide with or adjust to ambiguity and uncertainty. In an essay, discuss the ending of a novel or play of acknowledged literary merit. Explain precisely how and why the ending appropriately or inappropriately concludes the work. Do not merely summarize the plot.

There are numerous plays, movies, novels, and poems on the idea of the "American dream.” The play uses theater of the absurd elements to make it harder to understand and it tests your comprehension.
"The American Dream" ends when Grandma speaks to the audience. She says that everyone in the play thinks they have what they want and it would be a good place to end the play. This is an appropriate ending because the play is about getting satisfaction. Mommy and Daddy make many hins throughout the play that they are not satisfied with their lives, often relating it to the idea that you cannot do anything to change your satisfaction.
Grandma ends the play when the Young Man comes to Mommy and Daddy's house. This was a perfect time to end the play because the Young Man has no feelings, but he looks gorgeous and on the outside appears to be the perfect child. Grandma stops the play now because she realizes that the Young Man is the child that Mommy and Daddy wanted from the beginning. They finally get the satisfaction they have wanted the entire play. Grandma even says everyone has what they wanted, or has what they think they wanted. 
Grandma wraps up the play at the ideal time because everyone in the play thinks they are satisfied, something Mommy and Daddy have been looking for most of their lives. It is a unusual for a character in play to tell the audience that the play is over. What is extremely strange is that Grandma is able to break the fourth wall; that is to be on stage without Mommy and Daddy seeing her. The significance of this could possibly mean that Grandma is acting as the director in this play. She controls who enters, the Young Man looking for work, and when the play finally ends.


2002. Morally ambiguous characters -- characters whose behavior discourages readers from identifying them as purely evil or purely good -- are at the heart of many works of literature. Choose a novel or play in which a morally ambiguous character plays a pivotal role. Then write an essay in which you explain how the character can be viewed as morally ambiguous and why his or her moral ambiguity is significant to the work as a whole. Avoid mere plot summary.
            When you are a hobbit blinding walking through the land of middle earth while trying to reach a destination quickly, a guide would be extremely helpful. That is exactly what Gollum is to Frodo Baggins and his best friend Sam. Despite Gollum’s intentions, he does guide the two hobbits to their destination quite well. Gollum is a morally ambiguous character because while he does guide the two protagonists to the land of Sauron, his ultimate goal is to still get the ring for himself.
            Depending on how you look at it, Frodo and Sam stumbling upon Gollum can be considered a fortune or yet another creature that they must conqueror. Gollum is not purely evil. Hundreds of years ago he was a hobbit called Sméagol. Hobbits are a genuinely nice race that enjoys their peaceful, rural life. Gollum was tortured for days by Sauron in attempt to find out the current location of the ring. And finally Sméagol, despite his intentions, did lead Frodo to Sauron’s kingdom where he ended up destroying the one ring. It is not unreasonable to come to the conclusion that Frodo would have not achieved his goal without Gollum’s and Sam’s guide.
           Gollum is also extremely far from being purely good. His greed and desire for the ring led him to transform from a hobbit to a hideous creature. In fact, after one of his friends found the ring while they were fishing on Sméagol’s birthday, Sméagol ending up strangulating his friend to death because of his desire for the ring. Sméagol also plots to turn Frodo on Sam. Numerous times throughout the story he attempts to frame Sam for various things that would upset Frodo; one example is Sméagol made it appear like Sam had eaten the rest of the already scarce food in the middle of the night. And finally, right before Frodo is going to destroy the right, Gollum jumps in and tries to murder Sam and Frodo and steal the ring.
            Gollum plays an extremely important role in the Lord of the Rings series because he adds another plot line to the already tangled plot. Without Gollum, Sam and Frodo would have never reached Mordor. At the same time however, he is yet another task the two hobbits must overcome. He tries to manipulate Frodo into turning against Sam. Gollum represents how greed and an unhealthy desire for power can lead to a transformation of a personality. Gollum is also an example of how evil and powerful Sauron truly is.

7 comments:

  1. #1 (1990 prompt): Your introduction paragraph is well written and follows the proper structure. I think you could condense the first two sentences into one, more concise sentence. I would also include meaning in your thesis because that is an essential part of the prompt's question. I like how you talk about the age of conformity and how conflict stems from Biff's refusal to conform, I think that's really important. I would suggest you also talk about Willy's internal conflict (holding onto traditional old American values in a more modern America with new values)and how he often takes this out on Biff. Willy failed in the new America and he thinks Biff will be his second chance at success and cannot handle Biff's refusal to conform. Also, good job at avoiding plot summary.

    #2 (1995 prompt): Once again, you did a good job following the structure for the open prompt intro. You talk about how the American dream is fake and people get caught up in satisfaction and what they want. I think you could make this more concise and less wordy by saying the American dream is materialistic and shallow. I think that Grandma works for this, because she is so different from the rest of the family and this contrast contributes to the meaning of the play. I think somewhere, perhaps in the thesis, it would be good to touch on how Grandma is not only more normal, but that she represents the values of the old America, while Mommy and Daddy are an extreme case of the new America. I think you could talk less about Daddy's weakness in the relationship because it's not really essential for this prompt. I would talk more about Mommy's materialism and constant search for satisfaction through material purchases. You didn't really clearly talk about meaning in this essay. I think a separate paragraph discussing how this all contributes to the meaning of the play could get you a much better score.

    #3(1973 prompt): I don't think you really answer the prompt in your intro paragraph. The prompt doesn't ask about the American dream, but the way a piece of literature ends. I think you should use this idea for the beginning of your intro. I also don't really see a thesis in your intro. The theatre of the absurd sentence is a little bit unrelated and you don't mention it elsewhere in the essay. The thesis should state how the play ends, whether it's successful or unsuccessful, and how this contributes to meaning. I didn't notice any mention of clear meaning in the essay. You also did not formally introduce the work in the intro, so it's not clear what work you're talking about immediately. The essay is mostly discussion about how exactly the play ends, which is good because you included a lot of good details, however this doesnt't really answer the question. Was the ending clear or ambiguous? Was this a successful ending? How does this all contribute to meaning? I think you could improve this essay a lot by leaving out some plot summary and unrelated details and focus on how the inconclusive ending contributes to the meaning of the play. I would definitely restructure your intro as well.

    #4 (2002 prompt): I would make the first sentence of your intro a little less specific to this work and instead make a general statement about morally ambiguous characters. Your thesis does not include meaning, nor does the essay. How does this character being neither purely good nor purely evil contribute to the meaning of the work? I noticed a lot of unnecessary plot summary throughout the essay. Details are good, but only include ones that contribute to your argument.You did a good job explaining how he is both good and bad, but then you went on to talk about what he represents in the novel. This does not answer the prompt's question about how being morally ambiguous contributes to meaning.

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    Replies
    1. Prompt 1:
      This essay just seems to need more fleshing out, it seems like you were really sleepy when you wrote this. That in mind, I think you could work on including more meaning into the thesis. What is Miller's message about the American Dream through Biff's rejection of it and Willy? What does he mean through society's rejection of Willy? Include more effects, maybe some diction choices throughout Biff and Willy's arguments.

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  2. Prompt 2:
    Again, meaning, meaning, meaning. What are the flaws of the American Dream? How does Grandma's isolation show this? Include these in your thesis. Although it seems like this essay should be more Grandma centric, you talk about Mommy and Daddy a lot not in conjunction with her. Why don't they understand each other? What does Grandma think of them? How does she show this? Recurring imagery, diction. The conclusion is unclear or lacking. Try not to begin sentences with "because".

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  3. Prompt 3:
    The purpose of the theater of the absurd is not to make things difficult or test comprehension; it was not invented by the evil AP board. It is a technique to show the truth in a different view because we wouldn't or couldn't accept or comprehend it literally. Anyway... I couldn't find a thesis, just a kind of random sentence about the "American Dream". Create a roadmap that sets up your next paragraphs, addresses prompt and contains meaning. I don't think the play is about satisfaction, it is about being unsatisfied with consumerism. Yeah, not to be a total jerk about this, I understand the "just get it done" 3am mentality, but this whole essay should be rewritten. Without the thesis the 2 body paragraphs just seem sad and lost and I don't know where they're trying to go or what they're trying to say.

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  4. Prompt 4:
    YAY! Lord of the Rings! ok, I'm done.
    In creating Gollum as a morally ambiguous character, I would bring up more about the nature of the ring. His craving for the ring causes him to act with evil, however his mind has been corrupted by it and he has been driven insane with isolation and torture. Frodo's pity for him would be a major point to bring up.
    I think there would be better ways to open your essay. Imaging to be a hobbit is a stretch for many. Perhaps something general like " One must often make unlikely alliances in order to obtain a goal...." Start broad. Bring up servile imagery and diction of Gollum after his transformation into Smeagol following Frodo's kindness.

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  5. 1990 (Salesman) Prompt:

    You don't address theme in your thesis, (so the thesis doesn't answer the prompt), and don't really get deeply into a discussion of it in your support. You need to PROVE that the conflict helps create the meaning you're asserting--not just state that it does. Also, the very end of the essay is too late for a first introduction of a term like "American Dream," because it has so many possible meanings. For some people, individualism IS the American Dream (see how confused these readers would be?) Work on slowing your thought process down so that you can get all of the parts of your thinking on to the page and you aren't just assuming that you readers know what's in your head or will see things from your point of view =)

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  6. Your peer reviewers gave you some good advice about revising these--taking that advice and doing some revisions before I graded would have been a good idea.

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